AFrayedKnot

I was reading in Ezekiel today when I came across an interesting passage.

God told Ezekiel to give the people a message–they were about to die.

He said that if Ezekiel did not tell them the message, then he would be responsible for their death. Their blood on his hands.

But if he told them the message, they would be responsible for their own life, because they knew it was about to come because they heard the message.

Sometimes we have friends who are living in horrible ways. Ways that do not honor Christ at all. Ways that lead to death without Him.

It is our responsibility to tell them the future of their ways if they continue.

It’s not exactly the same situation as Ezekiel, because the Scriptures say that creation yields the evidence of a Creator, and because of that, people are without excuse.

However, I think we underestimate the responsibility of us to warn one another when a fellow believer (or a non-believer) is involved with things that do not honor Christ.

The thing today is to not offend anyone so they don’t get mad at you.

That’s really a selfish motive. If your friend gets mad at you because you confronted him, then he gets mad at you. What’s important is that you try to help your friend by keeping him from doing something that is not good for his physical well-being or his relationship with Christ.

Not confronting someone so they won’t be mad at you says that you’re concerned with one thing–yourself.

If you don’t tell him the truth and try to hold him back from his destruction, claiming that you didn’t want to offend him, I believe you’ll be held accountable for not trying to help him. His blood on your hands.

We’re in this together. We have to help one another.

I read a small story in the book of Mark this morning about the disciples and Jesus (Mark 9:38-41).

It seems there was someone casting out demons in the name of Christ who did not follow the disciples. The disciples of Jesus rebuked the man.

Then Jesus returned the favor and told them they should not have forbade him because he was doing it in the name of Jesus. He went on to say that anyone who was not against them, was for them.

Let me change gears a bit and say that I am a Free Will Baptist. Actually, I am very Free Will Baptist. My dad is a FWB pastor, my brothers are FWB ministers, I graduated from a FWB college, work at the FWB publishing house and am a FWB music minister, my uncle is a FWB missionary, my grandpa was a FWB pastor, evangelist, Foreign Missions director, my cousin is a FWB pastor, my other uncle has been a FWB pastor and teacher, my father-in-law is a FWB pastor.

I’m pretty much as FWB as one person can get without going crazy.

Growing up I was a FWB because that’s the way I was raised. Now I am a FWB because out of the parts I’ve studied, I actually believe what we teach doctrinally.

Now that you know I’m not about to leave the denomination, let me get to the point of this post:

Free Will Baptists are not the only people who are part of the kingdom.

Actually, we’re a tiny part of it.

Anyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.

People who have different philosophies than me. People who aren’t white. People in different denominations. People in no denomination. People who play rock music in church. People who play pipe organs in church. People who use the NIV. People who are KJV only.

It’s about HIS kingdom, NOT the Free Will Baptist kingdom.

About a week ago, Sandy Atwood spoke to E-TEAM about sharing your faith. She mentioned that a person doesn’t come to know Christ in a quick way, but that it works sort of like a chain. Each encounter an unbeliever has with a Christian, or with God in some sort of way is like a link in their chain of coming to the point of being saved.

Cue my neighbor.

We met when we moved in. She’s a very nice lady, initiating our friendship actually.

We weren’t sure if she was a Christian or not, so we started praying for her a few months ago.

Then one day when I was cutting the grass, she left, so I cut her grass too. I never told her it was me, and I don’t think she knew it was me, but I thought I should do it (she normally cuts it herself, and I don’t think girls should have to cut grass).

A few weeks later she was digging up some dirt around the back of her house where she was making a flower bed. I came out and helped her break up the ground to give her a head start. That gave us a chance to get to know each other better.

She guessed that Lynsey and I were Christians and that we were involved in our church. (I guess she noticed we were gone every Sunday.) She didn’t seem to be upset or angry at the church, but she didn’t seem to act like it mattered much to her either. So I am guessing she doesn’t know Christ.

Yesterday I was getting my lawn mower out from underneath my house (we keep it there so it won’t get stolen . . . again) when our neighbor came home. We made small talk about some guy from GE who unsuccessfully tried to sell me a security system, but succeeded in selling our neighbor one. After she signed on the dotted line of what she thought was a good deal, he informed her that she had just signed up for 5 years of service. Ouch. I said, “I really don’t think Lynsey and I will be here for 5 years.”

She said, “Oh do you think you guys will do mission work?”

Kinda weird that she mentioned that. We’ve never talked about it before.

Meanwhile, our church is having a women’s tea in a few months. I mentioned to Lynsey that she should invite Paulette (neighbor). The gospel will be shared there and I’d love to see her come to Christ.

I’ve been thinking and praying that Lynsey and I could just be a link in the chain of Paulette’s journey to Christ. She’s watching us, and I want to be good examples for our Lord.

My wife and I have been homeowners for two months now.

I am noticing more and more the amount of stuff you have to do around the house. Bathrooms need to be cleaned, dishes washed, weeds pulled, floors vacuumed, and grass cut (among other things).

That’s a lot of stuff to do!

Here’s the thing about cutting grass: you have to cut it again a week later.

There’s always work to do.

Dumb grass.

I have a problem with trying to do too much.

Some of my friends can’t say no when someone asks them to do something. That’s not my problem. It’s not that I have all these people asking me to do things and whatnot (sometimes people ask me to do things though). It’s that I see a need, and then feel like I have to be the one to meet that need.

I don’t really think it’s bad to want to meet needs or to notice them.

Where it becomes a problem for me is when I don’t consider the fact that other people can meet needs just as well, if not better, than I can.

It’s a pride and control issue for me.

I was reminded how small I am this past week when I was reading in Isaiah. One particular passage says that God’s Word will not return void, and that he WILL accomplish what He wants.

He’ll accomplish His plan even if I’m not the one doing it. He can do what He wants with whoever He wants.

He doesn’t ask me to do everything. He just asks me to be faithful to the opportunities I can do. And that includes NOT trying to do everything, and letting other people do what God has called them to do. If I try to do too much, or actually think that it’s me who is doing the work, I might actually be getting in God’s way. Yeah, not something I want to do.

It’s God and the Holy Spirit that are doing the work. I’m merely an instrument.

I’ve found that it’s actually very freeing to rest in God’s power instead of my own. I really don’t have to worry about the work now. It’s God’s work. He supplies the power. I just show up and do my best.

A friend and I had a conversation the other day about dating. He mentioned that he was interested in dating a specific girl. So he told me about her and then asked if I thought he should go forward with it.

I told him I thought she was a good girl as far as I knew. Then I asked him a question I don’t think he was ready for:

“Are you ready to seriously pursue marriage?”

He seemed a bit taken back.

“Well, no.”

“Then I don’t think you should date her, or anyone really, until you are.”

The point of dating is to figure out if you want to marry the person you’re dating. And if you’re not ready to be serious about dating, or if you don’t see yourself getting married in a few years, I don’t think you should date.

It’s just not worth it. You’re wasting both of your time, emotions, energy, not to mention money.

I’m not saying you have to own a house, have a full-time job, a 32-inch TV, and have paid off most of your school loans before you should ever date. (Actually I think people shouldn’t let finances get in the way.) I’m saying that if you are dating just because you’re bored, or because you want some companionship from the opposite sex, then you shouldn’t do it.

If you’re dating just because you want companionship, and you end up acting like you’re married to the person (you give them your spare car key, say goodnight right before you fall asleep, pray together, do your devotions together, blah blah blah) before you actually are, then I’m suggesting problems will arise. (1) If you act like you’re married, then it will be hard for you to not do things married people do (*cough SEX cough*). Why would you expect it any differently? (2) Not only that, there is more to give away to your future spouse than just your virginity. There is an intimacy factor most people don’t consider. When you share things about yourself to one person, a bond forms. And when that relationship doesn’t work out, you will have to break that intimate bond (it’s almost like a divorce really). Both of these things (sex and intimacy) are things you cannot get back. Believe me, you will wish you gave all of both of these things to your spouse. NOT the future husband or wife of some other person.

I realize this can be difficult. I mean it’s not like you can just turn off your hormones (especially for a 21 year old guy, when hormones reach their peak). However, I do believe with a solid group of core friends, the help of the Holy Spirt, God’s Word, and a little accountability, it can be done.

So do yourself (and all members of the opposite sex, as well as your future spouse) a favor and don’t date unless you’re ready to be serious about it.

Since I wrote a post Monday about girls and why they should say no the first time a guy asks her out, I thought today would be a good time to write one for the guys. So here you go. Take this with a grain of salt. This is my opinion, and not the Bible.

The Situation

Let’s say you’re at college. You decide you’re ready to be serious about dating and possibly marriage, and you start scoping (don’t act like you’ve never done this). A girl catches your eye. She is gorgeous. She acts like a lady. She is well-respected and has a strong Christ-like testimony. Every guy on campus knows she is a catch. Most are actually scared to ask her out. You decide you’re going to give it a shot. But, there’s a problem. She has a boyfriend back home.

Crap, right?

Nope.

Ask her out anyway.

“How is that OK? Doesn’t that break the man-code?”

Not in my opinion. It’s different if her boyfriend is around and actively pursuing her. If she really wanted to be with him, she would have stayed home. Or if he really wanted to be with her, he would be with her.

Help her stop delaying their inevitable breakup, and win her.

Listen, we’re talking about the rest of your life. Once you win her and are married to the woman of your dreams, you will care less about the guy back home (and so will she). Here is a girl that is THE catch of your life, and you’re going to let some figment of your imagination, whom you’ll probably never meet, come in the way of that.

Not Scared

All the other guys are scared to chase after her. They spend all their time going on dates with the girls that aren’t as pretty as this one. You know, the ones who go on dates with basically any guy that asks. You don’t want those girls. They’re not a challenge.

If those other guys are too scared to act, then they’re not worthy of winning her anyway. You, on the other hand, are worthy of winning her, and you’ll do anything it takes to do so.

So ask her out. If you don’t even give it a shot, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.

Oh and when she says no, ask her out again. She’s just testing your resolve.

The other day while cutting the grass (with my brand new lawn mower), I began thinking about how a lot of Christians try to separate and categorize their lives.

We categorize everything in our life. Here are some different categories:

• God
• Wife/Husband
• Family
• Friends
• Job
• Recreation

But in reality, it can’t work like this. It’s impossible to separate all of these things from each other. They are all connected.

Here’s an example. A lot of people say they love God, but then at the same time have serious hate and bitterness toward their parents.

Well, if that person really loved God, then they couldn’t hate their parents. Because God made their parents and loves them (just as much as He loves Billy Graham, Mother Theresa, or Adolf Hitler). So to say that you hate your parents is really telling God that you hate Him.

Hating other people is hating God.

It works on the flip side too. Loving people is loving God.

It’s all about worship. And it’s all about not containing those things in categories. Categories make people think they can separate God from everything else they do in life. When in reality, God is in, above, through, and around every part of everyone’s life.

We think, God goes in His box over here, and my family goes in it’s box over here, and my recreation goes over here . . .

There are no boxes.

You’re either worshiping Him by treating everything in your life in an appropriate way, or you’re slapping Him in the face by treating everything else in your life inappropriately.

For some reason I thought a lot about dating over the weekend. I’m married, so that’s weird. Lynsey was like, “So are you the guru on dating now?” No, I just have a lot of opinions and crazy ideas.

Here’s one for the ladies.

Let’s say you’ve had your eye on a particular guy. He’s good looking, he has a great reputation of being a gentleman, and he is a spiritual leader in his group of friends. He seems like a great guy to date.

The day finally comes when he asks you out.

This is what you’ve been waiting for after what seems like forever. You get a little flushed, your palms get sweaty, you smile, say thanks for asking, and then give him your answer . . .

“no.”

At least that’s what I think you should do.

The first time a guy asks you out, say no. Doesn’t matter how much you like the guy. Doesn’t matter if it’s Johnny Depp. N-O.

You see I have this crazy theory. I believe guys want to chase and win a girl’s heart. And I also believe girls want to be fought for and won.

A great way to see how bad a guy wants to fight for you is to turn him down. If he gives up after one try, well, frankly, he’s not worth it to you. If he really wants to fight for you, then he’ll ask again.

If the guy asks a second time, say yes. (If a guy asks a 3rd time, say yes even if you don’t like him–that guy would do anything for you and will make a great husband.)

If he doesn’t want to fight for you in dating, he’s not going to fight for your marriage 15 years from now when he’s tempted to sleep with his secretary.

Don’t be rude to the guy, but politely say “no, thank you.”