Whoever Thought of “Forgive and Forget” Was an Idiot
The title of this post is a paraphrase of what one of my teachers said in a class in college. A Christian college. The class was Ephesians (I think).
Everyone’s heard the phrase before.
When someone apologizes for doing something wrong to you, you should forgive them, and then forget that the occurrence ever happened, right?
My teacher said that was dumb.
You should forgive people, yes. But forgetting how someone has wronged you could cause you to make a poor decision about them in the future.
Let me take it to the extreme, since that’s what gets people feisty.
Let’s say a man has inappropriate conduct with some children at a daycare, is convicted, and spends a few years in jail. Turns out he was into child pornography too.
The man gets out of jail, claiming to be a changed man. He apologizes to everyone he harmed, including the families of the children he had a history with.
Forgive him? Yes. Forget it? No.
I don’t want that man doing any type of work with my child, even if he has apologized.
Do I believe that he’s different? Sure. Do I give him opportunity to do it again? No way.
So forgive, but don’t forget.
Actually, remember in a healthy way that helps you make better decisions in the future.
I was in that Ephesians class with you, and I found it right there in my notes! I also found this line: “When we remember, but forgive anyway, it brings glory to God.”